Oh, come on. Amputation is at least Plan D.

[Nero takes a cursory glance at the situation.] How does a grown-ass man get his hand stuck in a pickle jar? Should've got you tongs for Christmas.

[Yep... it's really on there. Might even be a vacuum problem at this point. To start with, he'll lube up what parts of Dante's hand he can with the olive oil.]

Too embarrassed to ask Dad for help, huh?