[For the first time in the conversation, Nero looks at least a little more at ease. He lets out a breath and cracks a vague smile, leaning forward to bump her forehead with his.]
Good. 'Cuz my gramps might be a legendary demon knight, but I'm still just Nero. I promise.
[Like yeah... so many demons over the years used to sneer at him and call him "Sparda's kin" and "blood of Sparda" and all that shit. He always knew it was a connection somehow. But it feels a lot more real knowing exactly how close to Sparda he is. Even with what he knows about Sparda as a person and not a figure of legend, there's a kind of disconnect in his head at the very idea.
Like... imagine going to Grandpa's house for the holidays, and it's Sparda. Fucking wild.
Anyway. Now that that's covered... time to wade into some murkier territory.]
So... what do you think of Vergil? You guys seemed to be getting along okay.
[Kyrie nudges back against his forehead, huffing a light puff of laughter through her nose.]
You've never been 'just Nero' to me, you know that. You're just my legendary, slightly Dark Knight Nero now.
[She pats his stomach cheerfully, indicating that she's teasing him to put him at ease.
Mostly.
It's very strange to think that he is a direct descendant of someone she worshipped as a god and it might take some adjusting to, but having got to know Dante over the years and recognized the all too present humanity in him, he's not quite so intimidating.
Vergil, on the other hand...]
I like him. He's very different from his brother, if they didn't look so alike I'd find it hard to believe they're related.
[She pushes herself up to look at him, smiling fondly.]
But you know, it's not so hard to see the resemblance between you two if you look carefully enough.
[Well. You've seen his screenname, obviously he does. He chuckles and eases into a more comfortable position on the bed, letting Kyrie flop and snuggle however she pleases once he's settled on his back.
Nero can't help but smile a little wider when she points out how much he and Vergil look alike.]
Yeah. I had a hard time believing it myself... hard to think he's my dad too, except it's like looking in a mirror sometimes.
[He's going to have to get into this somehow. Slowly. Carefully. So he takes a breath and wets his lips.]
He, uh. He's had a really rough life. I don't know all the details but he was... gone for a long time. I think in the Underworld. He's kind of prickly and sometimes he's like a feral cat. Hissy and nervous and poorly socialized?
[A soft, good-natured laugh.]
He's been trying really hard though. Trying to be a better person and a father. He's changed a lot. I wouldn't be calling him "Dad" if he hadn't earned it from me.
Nero! You can't say things like that about your father!
[Kyrie laughs but she's also slightly scandalised. She can't imagine getting the nerve to call Vergil something like a hissy, poorly socialized cat. He comes across as so stern and severe, she can't imagine what it would be like to actually anger him.
But... Nero trashtalks people he likes. Not her, never her, but Nico? Dante? Constantly. It makes her laugh.]
I'm looking forward to getting to know him better, hopefully somewhere a bit warmer. He was so kind to me when he found me, I need to find a way to repay him for everything. Do you think I should cook him a special dinner to thank him?
[She adjusts herself so she can sprawl over him, snuggling into his body heat and the warmth of his hoodie.]
I'm so glad you've found him, I can see how much he means to you. I just wish I'd been here with you while it happened.
[Maybe he'd tone it down a little bit but he absolutely would. He and Vergil are finally at the place where they can rib each other and it doesn't come off as really pointed and mean. It's a place they were gonna need to reach, in Nero's regard.]
I think he'd like that. He's kind of blase about food but I know a few things he likes by now... he really likes tea and books, actually. I bet he'll love talking to you about his books.
[It's wonderful to hear that he was so kind to her. That she wants to repay him and get to know him better. He hopes, from the bottom of his heart, that she still feels that way in a moment. He absolutely has to tell her.]
There's, um... there's something I need to tell you about him though. It's about what happened last y... last month. In Red Grave. [And in the garage. Though he can already feel himself starting to falter as he gets closer to it.]
It might be kind of hard to hear but I need to tell you. Can you hear me out?
[Kyrie lies comfortably with her head pillowed on Nero's chest, just below his shoulder, enjoying the familiar dull pulse of his heartbeat beneath her ear as she listens to him talk. It's comforting and soothing and might be enough to lull her to sleep but she feels him tense beneath her and everything changes. She shifts a little to sit up, wriggling so she's upright and facing him with a frown on her face.]
I knew something was bothering you when you called, has it been eating away at you for this long?
[She can't imagine that he's had months to sit on this; is it something so terrible that he can't even share it with his family? She reaches for both of his hands to hold in hers as she looks at him.]
Of course I can hear you out, you can tell me anything.
[He's very quick to clasp her hands, squeezing them back.]
Oh, no, no. It hasn't been eating at me-- I mean, I've basically come to terms with it, I'm just... [Worried that she won't.
But enough of the mystery. He sighs and shakes his head, then wets his lips before he goes to explain.]
So Vergil. Before we met, before we even knew each other existed, he was dying. He was weak and half out of his mind trying to save himself. He needed his sword. So when he sensed it, he came to Fortuna and...
[Nero laces his fingers with hers, particularly those of his right hand. Here's the cruel truth that hit him like a truck that day, left him reeling on the phone to Kyrie.]
He was the one who attacked me that day. He tore off my arm to get Yamato back.
[He was the one who attacked me that day. He tore off my arm to get Yamato back.
The whole world grinds to a halt, all sound turns to static in her ears and Kyrie forgets how to breathe for a split second. She's paralysed, transported back to that sickening moment of utter horror when she'd gone to the garage. Her world had tilted on its axis to find Nero bleeding out on the floor, soaked in his own blood, dying for all intents and purposes, and she had been powerless to do anything more than try desperately to staunch the bleeding and beg Nico to call an ambulance as she'd cradled him in her arms and pleaded with him as he lost consciousness.
Please be okay
Don't go
Don't leave me
I can't do this without you
I love you please stay with me
You're everything, I can't lose you
You can't die you can't die
Even now her nightmares are coloured red with the blood she can't stop, and she feels the dead weight of him in her arms as she tore her skirt and tried to fashion a tourniquet to stop the endless river of blood that poured from the ruined stump of his right arm.
She'd thought a monster, a demon, had broken the sanctity of their home and harmed him. But this? This is so much worse.
He has to be mistaken, this can't be true.
Her voice is tiny when she finally answers, her face ashen in disbelief.]
[He promised himself he wouldn't panic during this talk. That he'd let Kyrie feel however she felt, and he wouldn't go overboard trying to explain things or defending Vergil where it wasn't warranted.
But it hurts so fucking bad to see her distressed. It takes everything in him not to break that promise to himself and start rushing to say something, anything that would make it better.
He closes his hands--both of them-- over hers, bringing them in to place against his chest.]
He was the demon in Red Grave. Something... happened to him, and once he had Yamato it only got worse. He split in two. There was V, his human side, everything that was good in him. And then everything that was left was that... monster.
[It's hard to explain that part when he still doesn't understand much of it himself. He's never quite wanted to quiz Vergil either, since he's so obviously touchy and wary about the subject of his past. But nor does he want to leave out any of his understanding for Kyrie. It's twisted and frightening and fucked up, but he absolutely will not keep it from her. Not if he wants any hope at all of his family all being mended into one.
So he explains the Red Grave situation. How dire things were when they arrived, how V was so desperate to put a stop to Urizen and the mistake he spawned that cost so many lives. How V was dying, and Nero more or less carried him to the bottom of the Qliphoth, where Dante had defeated Urizen. How V and Urizen rejoined into one Vergil, and the bombshell when Dante told him that Vergil was, in fact, his father. The man who'd assaulted him and crippled him was his own, unknowing father.]
When I called you... I didn't know what to do. He'd done so much wrong, and I spent so long wanting revenge for my arm, but... I couldn't let it go just like that. I couldn't just leave him and Dante to kill each other. I didn't want bloodshed to do the talking in this family anymore. I just... wanted to look him in the eye as his son, and see what he would do about it.
[By now, there's a telltale wet shine in Nero's eyes.]
Kyrie. I know how... screwed up this all is. I still don't understand a lot of it. But if I thought he might hurt you, or me, I'd be a thousand miles away with you and never even look at him again. He knows he was wrong. He's been working so hard to change, and to be a father for me. You don't ever have to like him, or trust him, but...
[At last, he closes his eyes and leans forward, bonking his forehead into her shoulder.]
I forgave him. Maybe I'm stupid and too trusting, but... I wanted to give him a chance.
[Kyrie doesn't quite know how to respond. It's a lot to contend with, on top of everything else she's learned about Nero's family today. She barely notices when Nero places her hands on his chest, can't look away from his face as he pours his heart out with the story.
It would be one thing if the attack had been perpetrated by the side of Vergil devoid of any and all humanity, but that's not the case. That small spark of optimism, that it can't be that bad, snuffs out. Then the human side of him had dragged Nero back into the unpleasantness, knowing what had been done to him? Knowing how close they'd come to losing Nero? And what about the demon side, how many lives had been lost to feed his unrelenting
She battles to keep her breathing under control, feeling her heart begin to race in a panic.
And then Nero's eyes well up, and her heart begins to break for him. Her own vision begins to blur as she watches him pour his heart out and she can understand the conflict he feels all too well.
She remembers five years ago, remembers seeing Nero stand over her brother's prone form with his arm glowing and having to fight the battling horror and disbelief and fear, not knowing where to begin reconciling the truths she had always believed. Even with Credo fallen at his feet, her heart had told her to have faith in Nero, just as it tells her to have faith in him and his instincts. He's always kept her safe. Always.
Stupid and too trusting? She can't call him that. Because from the moment she had met Nero's father, she had found herself drawn to him, felt safe (if not a little unsettled) being near him, and to know now that he was the monster who had nearly ripped her life apart?
She's shaking as he leans into her and she holds onto him, clings, but can't bring herself to say anything. What can she say?]
[He mirrors her unconsciously. Heart pounding. Arms trembling, even as he holds her tight to his chest. A few tears slip free and slide down his cheeks, and he presses them dry against the borrowed hoodie she's wearing. All he can do for the moment is slowly stroke her back in an effort at comfort. He doesn't know how else or what else to do.
It's a minute or two before he regains the ability to speak, and can even find the words to do it with.]
It's been seven months for me. He promised me he'd rather die than ever hurt me again. And you know I don't take anybody at their word, but... he keeps on proving he meant it. Over and over again, no matter how hard it is for him.
[He turns his head from her shoulder, pressing a very lazy kiss against her collar as he does. Well... to the hoodie, anyway, kind of intended to be her collar. Also ends up with one of the drawstrings kind of draped over his chin. But he puts up with it for the moment.]
I don't expect you to forgive him, or... like him, or if you don't want anything to do with him, I get it. I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for him. But he's changed a lot and grown since I've known him. He loves me. And I... [He wets his lips suddenly, the rest of that sentence getting stuck on his tongue somewhere.]
No matter what, I promise that you're safe. I'll keep you safe, like always. And if it ever looks like I might not be safe, I'll protect myself. So please, just... let me keep giving him a chance.
[Nero lets out a soft, rueful laugh.]
He's a dumb, nerdy, awkward, uptight bastard who's still learning problem-solving skills. But he's my dad.
[Kyrie remembers the day she had met Nero. She remembers the sullen little boy sat apart from the other children in the orphanage, glowering at everyone. He had a bruise on his cheek and a swollen bottom lip. Mother and Father had been talking to Sister Sesta about what they could do to help support the orphanage's work, Credo had been introduced to one of his new instructors and was hanging off his every word and Kyrie had been left to her own devices to meet the orphans. She had felt uncomfortable, eyed with jealousy by a group of whispering girls slightly older than her, who made remarks about her best dress (Mother had said it was important to look one's best for these things), and she hadn't felt like stopping by to coo over the toddlers in the nursery. She had hurried over to the boy in the corner, feeling sorry for the sorry state of his face, and immediately offered him one of the chocolate coated caramels she had smuggled into the building. His eyes had lit up and he had smiled the brightest, most genuine and endearing smile she had ever seen, and she had immediately asked if he would like to be her friend.
She had never been ignorant to what people had said about him, never entertained the gossip that he was some ill-gotten bastard left on the orphanage's doorstep. She knows he was bullied, knows what it takes to earn his trust, and for him to trust deeply is something she knows takes him a long time. Even now she can count on one hand the number of people he would openly admit to trusting.
And she's so torn, because she would shout from the rooftops how deeply she trusts Nero and that will never change but this? This is so different from anything else because it's his family. Of course his judgement comes with the complicated influence of emotions added to the mix.
Her own aren't making things any easier.
His attempt at a kiss grounds her, makes her shift to brush her fingers through his hair in an effort to comfort him. He's so tense in her arms, and the way he's pleading with her to let him keep giving his father a chance to prove himself-
He loves me
Kyrie's breath catches at that, shaking as she cries against him because she can't possibly contend with that. It's family, it's his blood, it's what he's always dreamed of since he was that bruised, lonely little boy she shared her candy with with. How can he possibly think she'd want to take that away from him?
Because that so-called family nearly took him away from her. Permanently. What right does he have to muscle in and hurt him again? Nero's always kept her safe, as he says, and she has always tried to do the same in her own way. Shouldn't she stop this now, before Vergil has the chance to hurt him again?
...it's an awful, bitter thing to think and she's disgusted with herself.
It's even worse because from the outset, she herself has wanted to like and trust his father, and be liked by him in return.
Now? What can she even do or say?
She still has no words.
She kisses the crown of his head instead, and holds him tight.]
[The continued silence further uneases him. They're both still shaking. But they're both still holding tight, too, and Nero tells himself he did just lay an utter bombshell on her. It's okay if it takes a moment for everything to sink in. Hell, he wouldn't blame her if it took a few days for everything to sink in.
Like, it's gonna drive him fucking insane with anxiety and worry! But he wouldn't blame her a bit!
She kisses the top of his head and he closes his eyes, forcing out a few more stray tears. His hand continues rubbing lazy circles on her back, and he lets the silence go on for a few more minutes.
At last he swallows.]
Is there anything I can say to make it easier? Anything I can do?
[Her voice is small and shaky and she forces some composure back into herself. She takes a deep breath, drawing back from the hug. Her face is still pale, eyes wet and red rimmed, and she searches his face, now haunted by the similarities she had seen between him and his father and wondering how she can separate the two.
She should hate Vergil. He's a monster. She's everything she'd been raised to believe as evil and base in this world.
But he's the Son of Sparda, Nero's father and he loves him and she's sworn to herself never to hate any part of him, that she loves and accepts every inch of him, every drop of blood in his veins, demon, human, whatever.
She reaches for Nero, her rock, and takes his face between her hands.]
I wanted whatever hurt you dead. I wanted to rip it to pieces just so it could hurt worse than you, hurt the way I hurt when I saw you lying there... and he was your father?
[She shudders, tears rolling down her cheeks.]
How could you forgive someone like that after what he did to you?
[As long as she's crying, he won't be far behind. He surrenders his face to her, tearstained and red, shaking his head very briefly to her question.]
I don't know. I didn't think I could. I wanted payback. Not just for my arm but for everything he did to you and Nico. To Dante. To the city. I wanted nothing more than to kill him. But...
[He drifts off for a moment, scrambling to gather a hundred thoughts and feelings into sensible words. His right hand slips up to brush Kyrie's tears away with his thumb.]
When I found out he was my father, I just... like I said. I had to see for myself. I didn't want him to die without ever looking him in the eye and speaking to him. Maybe he was a coldhearted bastard and a ruthless monster, and maybe he did deserve to die but...
[One more swallow, and he comes to the conclusion he came to all those months ago after hanging up with Kyrie.] I didn't want it to be like that. I didn't want my father to be like that. For Dante to kill his brother, and for my family I didn't even know to fall apart like that.
[He takes a slow breath and leans forward, touching his forehead to hers.]
All I did was give him a chance. If he'd spit in my face or thrown it back at me, or acted like a [pause where he trips over almost saying "fuckhead"] creep or whatever else, then screw him, I'd know once and for all. But he didn't. He's tried so hard and apologized, and... I forgave him for hurting me.
[Nero smiles a little crookedly, then spares his hand to wipe his own tears.]
I can't forgive him for you. Or for anybody else or anything else he's done. But for what it's worth, he's said he wants to apologize to you.
[How anyone, anyone could ever have looked at this brilliant, beautiful man and ever thought he was nothing more than an uncouth, foul-mouthed punk is completely beyond Kyrie. His huge capacity to love, to forgive, to want what's best for everyone, humbles her every time she's privileged enough to bear witness to it.
She leans into the brush of his thumb, shares breath as he presses his forehead to hers, listens patiently as he articulates his thoughts. He's come so, so far and she loves him so deeply as he shows his capacity for forgiveness.
Kyrie thinks he's a better man than any other she's met. She might be biased, but it doesn't make it any less true.
She looks up to meet his crooked smile, her own smile watery in return as she watches him wipe away his tears, and she slowly processes what he's saying.
Vergil wants to apologize to her.
With all her heart, she wishes she could say she will accept that apology for Nero's sake and let that be the end of it. Be the bigger person, follow Nero's example and let their lives go on, embracing him as part of her family, learning to forgive and forget.
She just doesn't know if she can.
But she can't bring herself to say that to Nero. Not when she can see for herself how much this man- and it's a struggle to use that term- means to him. How much Nero loves him, even if he hasn't said it aloud to her. She knows what he cut himself off from saying.
Maybe she's not as good a person as everyone says she is.
Her thumbs trace the path of his hands, brushing the remnants of tears away that he might have missed. She's sure the uncertainty of it is written all over her face but she can't bring herself to look away from him, not when he's being so open and vulnerable with her.]
I don't know if I- I will hear what he has to say.
[I just can't promise I'll forgive him.
She inches closer, needing to be near to him. Those days leading up to his second departure for Red Grave had been tense and fraught, with her still simmering with anger and terror at the thought he was about to disappear and put his life in danger again and Nero thrumming with fury and grim determination to finish what he had started. They had barely spoken, it wasn't until the night before he left that Kyrie had left the self-imposed exile of the sofa-bed to return to their room and hold him, determined not to let him leave thinking she didn't care.
It's caring too much that has her tied up in knots right now.]
I still see you on that floor and I can't- I wake up and I can't breathe thinking I've lost you before I remember you're okay.
[He draws her into the embrace, putting his head over her shoulder and holding her as close as he can. His fingers move up and into her hair, cradling the back of her head.
For as horrifying and awful as it was for him to be attacked, for all the pain and the blood and the loss of his limb and his power both, Nero has always believed he had it easier. He passed out and remained out cold for much of the ordeal. He wasn't the one who had to find him bleeding and dying in the garage, who had to hold him until the ambulance arrived, who had to sit by his bedside in the hospital room. Kyrie had been so frightened and suffered so much in the aftermath of the attack, he was almost angrier at his assailant for her sake than his own.
He would never ask Kyrie to put her feelings about it aside, or to ignore them in favor of the family unity he does, admittedly, long for. He won't even ask her to give Vergil the same chance he did. If she'd told him she never wanted to look at Vergil again, he would have done his best to facilitate it-- no matter how much it would break his heart to do so. Kyrie deciding to hear him out is her own decision to make, and he would never ask her to even do that much.]
If you're okay with it, you can hear it from him. I'll respect anything you decide. And if you want me to be there, or to talk to him, or to do anything-- I'll do anything you want me to.
[He turns his head to kiss her temple, then to mumble very softly in her ear.]
I love you. More than anything else in the world. I'll do whatever it takes to make you comfortable and keep you safe.
[Kyrie's eyes close as she leans into him, letting a shaky breath tremble free. She shivers as he mumbles in her ear and turns to face him, hesitating for just a moment to speak against his lips, he's that close.]
Just be here with me with me now. As long as I know you're safe, that's all I need.
[She knows she needs to make a decision, knows that Nero needs to be put at ease, but she can't think straight. She's so tired she realizes; tired of putting on a brave face, tired of holding herself together, tired of missing him. She leans in, brushing her nose against his as she closes her eyes and rests her forehead against his.]
I don't trust myself to decide anything tonight... I just want to be with you. You don't know how much I've missed you.
[He smiles when she speaks against his lips, adjusts to let her move comfortably. The temptation to snatch a kiss while they're here is a little too great, and he does before resting his forehead against hers.]
Yeah, please, take all the time you need. Sorry to dump all this on you all at once, but... [Better now than having her find out later.
He grins when she says she missed him.]
Almost as much as I've missed you? [Vergil could tell her some truly embarrassing stories. Yeeesh.]
[The kiss is just what she needs and yet not enough, sweet and reassuring and enough to set her heart racing. She reaches to cup his cheek, smiling sweetly.]
Don't apologize, it needed to be said. Thank you for telling me everything.
[Forewarned is forearmed. It's been a lot to contend with, that much is for sure, but secrets never sit well, and they've always made it a point to be honest with each other. That won't change, not as long as they're together. And while they're being honest...]
Oh you can't have missed me more than I've missed you, but I suppose it has been longer for you than for me.
[She thanks him for telling him. And right then, Nero gets the first little breath of hope that everything will be okay. That he made the right choice in telling Kyrie everything to begin with, not waiting for her to find out later some other way. That would have been deceitful, manipulative... he would never be able to forgive himself if things went down like that and she later found out. This way, there are no nasty surprises later on. She can approach Vergil with all the knowledge Nero has, and they can all move forward together.]
Oh, yes I can. I missed you so much...
[Nero snatches another kiss from her. Then his face turns 2.5 shades pinker.]
I feel like I'm dreaming. Like I have been since I saw you at the station. My beautiful Kyrie is here.
[Kyrie colors up, as she always does when he's so ardent and sweet with his compliments and loops her arms around his neck over his shoulders, shifting her body weight until she's sitting on his lap. She feels so self-conscious when he calls her beautiful, even when she's wearing his borrowed clothes and her hair's a half-dry tangle.]
It's not a dream, I promise. I'm here.
[She takes the initiative and saves him a steal, freely offering him a sweet, lingering kiss.]
[Au contraire, Kyrie. He has a hard time remembering the last time you looked hotter than right now, dressed in his hoodie. (Nero says that in his head literally every time he sees her.)
With her perched in his lap, he sits up to lean back against the headboard. The easier to kiss her between gushing compliments.]
Right here with me. [Smooch.] Right where you belong. [Smooch.
Then he goes in for a longer kiss to match hers. It starts off sweet but gets... a little steamy when he can't resist some tongue.]
[She manages to sigh out her response before Nero goes in for a deeper kiss and she moans into his mouth as she tastes his tongue with hers. She is all too aware of how long it's been as her temperature goes up like touchpaper and she's aware of everywhere he's touching her and everywhere he's not.
And it's not enough.
One kiss melts into another, and another, and she laughs against his lips.]
[Nero looks genuinely dazed when she breaks away to ask a question he should really, really be thinking of. It is, alas, bouncing around in his head unconnected to anything, made irrelevant by thoughts of Kyrie, kissing Kyrie, and touching Kyrie, in that order.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Good. 'Cuz my gramps might be a legendary demon knight, but I'm still just Nero. I promise.
[Like yeah... so many demons over the years used to sneer at him and call him "Sparda's kin" and "blood of Sparda" and all that shit. He always knew it was a connection somehow. But it feels a lot more real knowing exactly how close to Sparda he is. Even with what he knows about Sparda as a person and not a figure of legend, there's a kind of disconnect in his head at the very idea.
Like... imagine going to Grandpa's house for the holidays, and it's Sparda. Fucking wild.
Anyway. Now that that's covered... time to wade into some murkier territory.]
So... what do you think of Vergil? You guys seemed to be getting along okay.
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You've never been 'just Nero' to me, you know that. You're just my legendary, slightly Dark Knight Nero now.
[She pats his stomach cheerfully, indicating that she's teasing him to put him at ease.
Mostly.
It's very strange to think that he is a direct descendant of someone she worshipped as a god and it might take some adjusting to, but having got to know Dante over the years and recognized the all too present humanity in him, he's not quite so intimidating.
Vergil, on the other hand...]
I like him. He's very different from his brother, if they didn't look so alike I'd find it hard to believe they're related.
[She pushes herself up to look at him, smiling fondly.]
But you know, it's not so hard to see the resemblance between you two if you look carefully enough.
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[Well. You've seen his screenname, obviously he does. He chuckles and eases into a more comfortable position on the bed, letting Kyrie flop and snuggle however she pleases once he's settled on his back.
Nero can't help but smile a little wider when she points out how much he and Vergil look alike.]
Yeah. I had a hard time believing it myself... hard to think he's my dad too, except it's like looking in a mirror sometimes.
[He's going to have to get into this somehow. Slowly. Carefully. So he takes a breath and wets his lips.]
He, uh. He's had a really rough life. I don't know all the details but he was... gone for a long time. I think in the Underworld. He's kind of prickly and sometimes he's like a feral cat. Hissy and nervous and poorly socialized?
[A soft, good-natured laugh.]
He's been trying really hard though. Trying to be a better person and a father. He's changed a lot. I wouldn't be calling him "Dad" if he hadn't earned it from me.
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[Kyrie laughs but she's also slightly scandalised. She can't imagine getting the nerve to call Vergil something like a hissy, poorly socialized cat. He comes across as so stern and severe, she can't imagine what it would be like to actually anger him.
But... Nero trashtalks people he likes. Not her, never her, but Nico? Dante? Constantly. It makes her laugh.]
I'm looking forward to getting to know him better, hopefully somewhere a bit warmer. He was so kind to me when he found me, I need to find a way to repay him for everything. Do you think I should cook him a special dinner to thank him?
[She adjusts herself so she can sprawl over him, snuggling into his body heat and the warmth of his hoodie.]
I'm so glad you've found him, I can see how much he means to you. I just wish I'd been here with you while it happened.
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[Maybe he'd tone it down a little bit but he absolutely would. He and Vergil are finally at the place where they can rib each other and it doesn't come off as really pointed and mean. It's a place they were gonna need to reach, in Nero's regard.]
I think he'd like that. He's kind of blase about food but I know a few things he likes by now... he really likes tea and books, actually. I bet he'll love talking to you about his books.
[It's wonderful to hear that he was so kind to her. That she wants to repay him and get to know him better. He hopes, from the bottom of his heart, that she still feels that way in a moment. He absolutely has to tell her.]
There's, um... there's something I need to tell you about him though. It's about what happened last y... last month. In Red Grave. [And in the garage. Though he can already feel himself starting to falter as he gets closer to it.]
It might be kind of hard to hear but I need to tell you. Can you hear me out?
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I knew something was bothering you when you called, has it been eating away at you for this long?
[She can't imagine that he's had months to sit on this; is it something so terrible that he can't even share it with his family? She reaches for both of his hands to hold in hers as she looks at him.]
Of course I can hear you out, you can tell me anything.
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Oh, no, no. It hasn't been eating at me-- I mean, I've basically come to terms with it, I'm just... [Worried that she won't.
But enough of the mystery. He sighs and shakes his head, then wets his lips before he goes to explain.]
So Vergil. Before we met, before we even knew each other existed, he was dying. He was weak and half out of his mind trying to save himself. He needed his sword. So when he sensed it, he came to Fortuna and...
[Nero laces his fingers with hers, particularly those of his right hand. Here's the cruel truth that hit him like a truck that day, left him reeling on the phone to Kyrie.]
He was the one who attacked me that day. He tore off my arm to get Yamato back.
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The whole world grinds to a halt, all sound turns to static in her ears and Kyrie forgets how to breathe for a split second. She's paralysed, transported back to that sickening moment of utter horror when she'd gone to the garage. Her world had tilted on its axis to find Nero bleeding out on the floor, soaked in his own blood, dying for all intents and purposes, and she had been powerless to do anything more than try desperately to staunch the bleeding and beg Nico to call an ambulance as she'd cradled him in her arms and pleaded with him as he lost consciousness.
Please be okay
Don't go
Don't leave me
I can't do this without you
I love you please stay with me
You're everything, I can't lose you
You can't die you can't die
Even now her nightmares are coloured red with the blood she can't stop, and she feels the dead weight of him in her arms as she tore her skirt and tried to fashion a tourniquet to stop the endless river of blood that poured from the ruined stump of his right arm.
She'd thought a monster, a demon, had broken the sanctity of their home and harmed him. But this? This is so much worse.
He has to be mistaken, this can't be true.
Her voice is tiny when she finally answers, her face ashen in disbelief.]
What?
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But it hurts so fucking bad to see her distressed. It takes everything in him not to break that promise to himself and start rushing to say something, anything that would make it better.
He closes his hands--both of them-- over hers, bringing them in to place against his chest.]
He was the demon in Red Grave. Something... happened to him, and once he had Yamato it only got worse. He split in two. There was V, his human side, everything that was good in him. And then everything that was left was that... monster.
[It's hard to explain that part when he still doesn't understand much of it himself. He's never quite wanted to quiz Vergil either, since he's so obviously touchy and wary about the subject of his past. But nor does he want to leave out any of his understanding for Kyrie. It's twisted and frightening and fucked up, but he absolutely will not keep it from her. Not if he wants any hope at all of his family all being mended into one.
So he explains the Red Grave situation. How dire things were when they arrived, how V was so desperate to put a stop to Urizen and the mistake he spawned that cost so many lives. How V was dying, and Nero more or less carried him to the bottom of the Qliphoth, where Dante had defeated Urizen. How V and Urizen rejoined into one Vergil, and the bombshell when Dante told him that Vergil was, in fact, his father. The man who'd assaulted him and crippled him was his own, unknowing father.]
When I called you... I didn't know what to do. He'd done so much wrong, and I spent so long wanting revenge for my arm, but... I couldn't let it go just like that. I couldn't just leave him and Dante to kill each other. I didn't want bloodshed to do the talking in this family anymore. I just... wanted to look him in the eye as his son, and see what he would do about it.
[By now, there's a telltale wet shine in Nero's eyes.]
Kyrie. I know how... screwed up this all is. I still don't understand a lot of it. But if I thought he might hurt you, or me, I'd be a thousand miles away with you and never even look at him again. He knows he was wrong. He's been working so hard to change, and to be a father for me. You don't ever have to like him, or trust him, but...
[At last, he closes his eyes and leans forward, bonking his forehead into her shoulder.]
I forgave him. Maybe I'm stupid and too trusting, but... I wanted to give him a chance.
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It would be one thing if the attack had been perpetrated by the side of Vergil devoid of any and all humanity, but that's not the case. That small spark of optimism, that it can't be that bad, snuffs out. Then the human side of him had dragged Nero back into the unpleasantness, knowing what had been done to him? Knowing how close they'd come to losing Nero? And what about the demon side, how many lives had been lost to feed his unrelenting
She battles to keep her breathing under control, feeling her heart begin to race in a panic.
And then Nero's eyes well up, and her heart begins to break for him. Her own vision begins to blur as she watches him pour his heart out and she can understand the conflict he feels all too well.
She remembers five years ago, remembers seeing Nero stand over her brother's prone form with his arm glowing and having to fight the battling horror and disbelief and fear, not knowing where to begin reconciling the truths she had always believed. Even with Credo fallen at his feet, her heart had told her to have faith in Nero, just as it tells her to have faith in him and his instincts. He's always kept her safe. Always.
Stupid and too trusting? She can't call him that. Because from the moment she had met Nero's father, she had found herself drawn to him, felt safe (if not a little unsettled) being near him, and to know now that he was the monster who had nearly ripped her life apart?
She's shaking as he leans into her and she holds onto him, clings, but can't bring herself to say anything. What can she say?]
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It's a minute or two before he regains the ability to speak, and can even find the words to do it with.]
It's been seven months for me. He promised me he'd rather die than ever hurt me again. And you know I don't take anybody at their word, but... he keeps on proving he meant it. Over and over again, no matter how hard it is for him.
[He turns his head from her shoulder, pressing a very lazy kiss against her collar as he does. Well... to the hoodie, anyway, kind of intended to be her collar. Also ends up with one of the drawstrings kind of draped over his chin. But he puts up with it for the moment.]
I don't expect you to forgive him, or... like him, or if you don't want anything to do with him, I get it. I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses for him. But he's changed a lot and grown since I've known him. He loves me. And I... [He wets his lips suddenly, the rest of that sentence getting stuck on his tongue somewhere.]
No matter what, I promise that you're safe. I'll keep you safe, like always. And if it ever looks like I might not be safe, I'll protect myself. So please, just... let me keep giving him a chance.
[Nero lets out a soft, rueful laugh.]
He's a dumb, nerdy, awkward, uptight bastard who's still learning problem-solving skills. But he's my dad.
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She had never been ignorant to what people had said about him, never entertained the gossip that he was some ill-gotten bastard left on the orphanage's doorstep. She knows he was bullied, knows what it takes to earn his trust, and for him to trust deeply is something she knows takes him a long time. Even now she can count on one hand the number of people he would openly admit to trusting.
And she's so torn, because she would shout from the rooftops how deeply she trusts Nero and that will never change but this? This is so different from anything else because it's his family. Of course his judgement comes with the complicated influence of emotions added to the mix.
Her own aren't making things any easier.
His attempt at a kiss grounds her, makes her shift to brush her fingers through his hair in an effort to comfort him. He's so tense in her arms, and the way he's pleading with her to let him keep giving his father a chance to prove himself-
He loves me
Kyrie's breath catches at that, shaking as she cries against him because she can't possibly contend with that. It's family, it's his blood, it's what he's always dreamed of since he was that bruised, lonely little boy she shared her candy with with. How can he possibly think she'd want to take that away from him?
Because that so-called family nearly took him away from her. Permanently. What right does he have to muscle in and hurt him again? Nero's always kept her safe, as he says, and she has always tried to do the same in her own way. Shouldn't she stop this now, before Vergil has the chance to hurt him again?
...it's an awful, bitter thing to think and she's disgusted with herself.
It's even worse because from the outset, she herself has wanted to like and trust his father, and be liked by him in return.
Now? What can she even do or say?
She still has no words.
She kisses the crown of his head instead, and holds him tight.]
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Like, it's gonna drive him fucking insane with anxiety and worry! But he wouldn't blame her a bit!
She kisses the top of his head and he closes his eyes, forcing out a few more stray tears. His hand continues rubbing lazy circles on her back, and he lets the silence go on for a few more minutes.
At last he swallows.]
Is there anything I can say to make it easier? Anything I can do?
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[Her voice is small and shaky and she forces some composure back into herself. She takes a deep breath, drawing back from the hug. Her face is still pale, eyes wet and red rimmed, and she searches his face, now haunted by the similarities she had seen between him and his father and wondering how she can separate the two.
She should hate Vergil. He's a monster. She's everything she'd been raised to believe as evil and base in this world.
But he's the Son of Sparda, Nero's father and he loves him and she's sworn to herself never to hate any part of him, that she loves and accepts every inch of him, every drop of blood in his veins, demon, human, whatever.
She reaches for Nero, her rock, and takes his face between her hands.]
I wanted whatever hurt you dead. I wanted to rip it to pieces just so it could hurt worse than you, hurt the way I hurt when I saw you lying there... and he was your father?
[She shudders, tears rolling down her cheeks.]
How could you forgive someone like that after what he did to you?
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I don't know. I didn't think I could. I wanted payback. Not just for my arm but for everything he did to you and Nico. To Dante. To the city. I wanted nothing more than to kill him. But...
[He drifts off for a moment, scrambling to gather a hundred thoughts and feelings into sensible words. His right hand slips up to brush Kyrie's tears away with his thumb.]
When I found out he was my father, I just... like I said. I had to see for myself. I didn't want him to die without ever looking him in the eye and speaking to him. Maybe he was a coldhearted bastard and a ruthless monster, and maybe he did deserve to die but...
[One more swallow, and he comes to the conclusion he came to all those months ago after hanging up with Kyrie.] I didn't want it to be like that. I didn't want my father to be like that. For Dante to kill his brother, and for my family I didn't even know to fall apart like that.
[He takes a slow breath and leans forward, touching his forehead to hers.]
All I did was give him a chance. If he'd spit in my face or thrown it back at me, or acted like a [pause where he trips over almost saying "fuckhead"] creep or whatever else, then screw him, I'd know once and for all. But he didn't. He's tried so hard and apologized, and... I forgave him for hurting me.
[Nero smiles a little crookedly, then spares his hand to wipe his own tears.]
I can't forgive him for you. Or for anybody else or anything else he's done. But for what it's worth, he's said he wants to apologize to you.
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She leans into the brush of his thumb, shares breath as he presses his forehead to hers, listens patiently as he articulates his thoughts. He's come so, so far and she loves him so deeply as he shows his capacity for forgiveness.
Kyrie thinks he's a better man than any other she's met. She might be biased, but it doesn't make it any less true.
She looks up to meet his crooked smile, her own smile watery in return as she watches him wipe away his tears, and she slowly processes what he's saying.
Vergil wants to apologize to her.
With all her heart, she wishes she could say she will accept that apology for Nero's sake and let that be the end of it. Be the bigger person, follow Nero's example and let their lives go on, embracing him as part of her family, learning to forgive and forget.
She just doesn't know if she can.
But she can't bring herself to say that to Nero. Not when she can see for herself how much this man- and it's a struggle to use that term- means to him. How much Nero loves him, even if he hasn't said it aloud to her. She knows what he cut himself off from saying.
Maybe she's not as good a person as everyone says she is.
Her thumbs trace the path of his hands, brushing the remnants of tears away that he might have missed. She's sure the uncertainty of it is written all over her face but she can't bring herself to look away from him, not when he's being so open and vulnerable with her.]
I don't know if I- I will hear what he has to say.
[I just can't promise I'll forgive him.
She inches closer, needing to be near to him. Those days leading up to his second departure for Red Grave had been tense and fraught, with her still simmering with anger and terror at the thought he was about to disappear and put his life in danger again and Nero thrumming with fury and grim determination to finish what he had started. They had barely spoken, it wasn't until the night before he left that Kyrie had left the self-imposed exile of the sofa-bed to return to their room and hold him, determined not to let him leave thinking she didn't care.
It's caring too much that has her tied up in knots right now.]
I still see you on that floor and I can't- I wake up and I can't breathe thinking I've lost you before I remember you're okay.
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[He draws her into the embrace, putting his head over her shoulder and holding her as close as he can. His fingers move up and into her hair, cradling the back of her head.
For as horrifying and awful as it was for him to be attacked, for all the pain and the blood and the loss of his limb and his power both, Nero has always believed he had it easier. He passed out and remained out cold for much of the ordeal. He wasn't the one who had to find him bleeding and dying in the garage, who had to hold him until the ambulance arrived, who had to sit by his bedside in the hospital room. Kyrie had been so frightened and suffered so much in the aftermath of the attack, he was almost angrier at his assailant for her sake than his own.
He would never ask Kyrie to put her feelings about it aside, or to ignore them in favor of the family unity he does, admittedly, long for. He won't even ask her to give Vergil the same chance he did. If she'd told him she never wanted to look at Vergil again, he would have done his best to facilitate it-- no matter how much it would break his heart to do so. Kyrie deciding to hear him out is her own decision to make, and he would never ask her to even do that much.]
If you're okay with it, you can hear it from him. I'll respect anything you decide. And if you want me to be there, or to talk to him, or to do anything-- I'll do anything you want me to.
[He turns his head to kiss her temple, then to mumble very softly in her ear.]
I love you. More than anything else in the world. I'll do whatever it takes to make you comfortable and keep you safe.
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[Kyrie's eyes close as she leans into him, letting a shaky breath tremble free. She shivers as he mumbles in her ear and turns to face him, hesitating for just a moment to speak against his lips, he's that close.]
Just be here with me with me now. As long as I know you're safe, that's all I need.
[She knows she needs to make a decision, knows that Nero needs to be put at ease, but she can't think straight. She's so tired she realizes; tired of putting on a brave face, tired of holding herself together, tired of missing him. She leans in, brushing her nose against his as she closes her eyes and rests her forehead against his.]
I don't trust myself to decide anything tonight... I just want to be with you. You don't know how much I've missed you.
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Yeah, please, take all the time you need. Sorry to dump all this on you all at once, but... [Better now than having her find out later.
He grins when she says she missed him.]
Almost as much as I've missed you? [Vergil could tell her some truly embarrassing stories. Yeeesh.]
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Don't apologize, it needed to be said. Thank you for telling me everything.
[Forewarned is forearmed. It's been a lot to contend with, that much is for sure, but secrets never sit well, and they've always made it a point to be honest with each other. That won't change, not as long as they're together. And while they're being honest...]
Oh you can't have missed me more than I've missed you, but I suppose it has been longer for you than for me.
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Oh, yes I can. I missed you so much...
[Nero snatches another kiss from her. Then his face turns 2.5 shades pinker.]
I feel like I'm dreaming. Like I have been since I saw you at the station. My beautiful Kyrie is here.
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It's not a dream, I promise. I'm here.
[She takes the initiative and saves him a steal, freely offering him a sweet, lingering kiss.]
And I'm not going anywhere.
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With her perched in his lap, he sits up to lean back against the headboard. The easier to kiss her between gushing compliments.]
Right here with me. [Smooch.] Right where you belong. [Smooch.
Then he goes in for a longer kiss to match hers. It starts off sweet but gets... a little steamy when he can't resist some tongue.]
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[She manages to sigh out her response before Nero goes in for a deeper kiss and she moans into his mouth as she tastes his tongue with hers. She is all too aware of how long it's been as her temperature goes up like touchpaper and she's aware of everywhere he's touching her and everywhere he's not.
And it's not enough.
One kiss melts into another, and another, and she laughs against his lips.]
Wait- is this okay?
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Is what okay?
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nsfw from here on out >>b
>:3
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