IC Contact (Folkmore)

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Comments

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uh

what??

how????

[devilblooded]

i was hungry
put hand in jar
hand gets stuck in jar
seek help???

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are you a raccoon???

how are you typing all this???

[Okay okay, but... the important thing is, Dante actually asked him for help!!!]

Hold tight I'll be home in a few, don't smash the glass or anything stupid OK

[devilblooded]

i still have one hand???
but sweet
bring another jar of pickles pls 🤤

[pullit]

they have this thing called a fork you know

what kind of pickles

[devilblooded]

i wasn't born with a fork in my hand
but i sure came with fingers
dill
don't do me dirty with bread and butter

[pullit]

Yeah well a fork doesn't get stuck in the jar

Have you already tried letting go of the pickles?? just curious

[devilblooded]

hang on

( a little bit of "..." going for a bit )

nope
still stuck

[pullit]

[HE DIDN'T TRY THAT YET?????]

OK don't worry be home soon

[devilblooded]

with the pickles 🤤

[pullit]

Yes with the pickles

[He may be stupid BOTTOM TEXT. (It runs in the family.)]

Don't starve in the meantime

[devilblooded]

i'll try not to 💀

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[It's about half an hour before Nero arrives home with a paper sack from the grocery store. He's sort of hoping Dante figured it out before he got here but also, brought supplies just in case he didn't.]

Dante, I'm back. [He sets the sack on the counter.] Didn't get your other hand stuck too, did you?

[devilblooded]

( Imagine if he did...

He rounds the corner to make his way into the kitchen and, like he'd said, his hand is there in the pickle jar, covered in pickle juice and seasonings. Yum. A tip of his head back, he waves with the hand stuck in the jar and raises a brow. )

What took ya so long? Did you remember the pickles?

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[Weird, it's not very hard to imagine?

He gives the pickle jar a quick, withering look before he retorts.] Buying your damn pickles took me so long. First store was out of dills completely.

[He pulls a bottle of olive oil out of the sack and gestures for Dante to come over.] Come here, let's get your hand out... [Said with the true, knowing patience of a man who has small children living at his apartment back home.]

[devilblooded]

You mean you're not gonna whip Red Queen out and cut my hand off? Alright, I'll take it.

( Playful shrug, he moseys his way on over and, rather loudly, taps his jarred hand down on the counter, his free hand on his hip, smiling to the kid. )

[pullit]

Oh, come on. Amputation is at least Plan D.

[Nero takes a cursory glance at the situation.] How does a grown-ass man get his hand stuck in a pickle jar? Should've got you tongs for Christmas.

[Yep... it's really on there. Might even be a vacuum problem at this point. To start with, he'll lube up what parts of Dante's hand he can with the olive oil.]

Too embarrassed to ask Dad for help, huh?

[devilblooded]

More like your old man doesn't like to use technology, in case you didn't notice.

( Vergil's a nerd but he's not that kind of nerd. )

I figured you'd respond quicker than me shouting across the skies in hopes he might catch my voice on the wind somewhere.

[pullit]

Right. But if he was around, would you have asked him? [He's mostly teasing.] Probably could've Judgment Cut this thing from across the room...

[He grips the jar and holds it down to the counter.] Can you wiggle at all?

[devilblooded]

Sure can.

( To which he wiggles his body, damn well knowing that's not what the kid meant. )

[pullit]

Are you five?

[For that, he flicks Dante in the side of the head.]

Your hand, dumbass!

[devilblooded]

Ow.

( Spoiler: it didn't actually hurt. But sure, ok. He wiggles his hand around a little in the jar, stirring up the juice and seasonings floating around. )

My fingers are probably lookin' like raisins by now.

[pullit]

Yeah, bet they're all pickled, too.

[Right. Clearly, this is a vacuum problem.] Okay. Plan B. One sec.

[He heads for the silverware drawer and digs until he finds a butter knife, nice and dull. Then he returns to grab Dante by the wrist, stilling his hand so he can slide the knife in alongside his hand.]

Hold still.

[devilblooded]

You are gonna cut my hand off. Why I oughta...

( He knows he's not, he's just being his usual self when... in a pickle. )

[pullit]

Quit whining. I have on good authority that it'll grow back.

[It's actually to break any vacuum seal by pushing some air between Dante's hand and the side of the jar, which ought to at least loosen it up a bit.]